2009: The Year in Music
Those of you that have known me for over a year know that I'm a serious amateur music geek, and my eventual goal is to work as a professional music critic. I try to hone my skills in criticism by cataloging and keeping vigorous notes on every piece of music I hear in a calendar year, and summarizing my discoveries with a year-end best-and-worst list. In 2009, I collected 104 albums, starting with Reel Big Fish's Fame, Fortune, and Fornication (released on January 20) and ending with Eminem's Relapse: Refill (released December 21). Here, I have compiled what I think is a pretty decent list of the highlights and lowlights (in my humble opinion). Here, you'll find picks as diverse as Tom Waits, Lady Gaga, Dirty Projectors, and Jay-Z. My hope is that you find something here that sounds interesting to you, and might try something new and interesting. These choices are obviously my opinion alone; let me know what your favorite (and least-favorite) songs, artists, and albums of 2009 were.
The 25 Best Albums Those of you that have known me for over a year know that I'm a serious amateur music geek, and my eventual goal is to work as a professional music critic. I try to hone my skills in criticism by cataloging and keeping vigorous notes on every piece of music I hear in a calendar year, and summarizing my discoveries with a year-end best-and-worst list. In 2009, I collected 104 albums, starting with Reel Big Fish's Fame, Fortune, and Fornication (released on January 20) and ending with Eminem's Relapse: Refill (released December 21). Here, I have compiled what I think is a pretty decent list of the highlights and lowlights (in my humble opinion). Here, you'll find picks as diverse as Tom Waits, Lady Gaga, Dirty Projectors, and Jay-Z. My hope is that you find something here that sounds interesting to you, and might try something new and interesting. These choices are obviously my opinion alone; let me know what your favorite (and least-favorite) songs, artists, and albums of 2009 were.
ALBUM OF THE YEAR
1. Hospice - The Antlers [FRENCHKISS]
The best record of 2009 is a concept album about an unnamed protagonist working in the Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center, falling in love with a belligerently cruel terminal bone cancer patient named Sylvia, and watching her slow, painful descent into madness and death -- no, it's not exactly a party-starter. If you can get past the gloomy plot, though, and completely submerge yourself into Peter Silberman's epic journey of memory, grief, regret, and passion, you'll find a gloriously sad but ultimately uplifting journey into the darkest and most beautiful parts of the human condition. The songs build slowly and deliberately, layering a dense orchestration of guitars, keys, harps, trumpets, and finally, Silberman's beautifully delicate, echoey voice, crafting a hypnotic atmosphere that's more unique than anything in music since Arcade Fire broke. After several listens, you'll find yourself choking back tears while singing along to The Antlers' gorgeous, transportive melodies. Hospice is the painful but familiar sound of innocence lost, simultaneously as important as any coming-of-age-memoir you'll ever read and as innovative any indie-rock breakthrough you'll ever hear.
Video: "Two (or, I Would Have Saved Her If I Could)"
2. It's Blitz! - Yeah Yeah Yeahs [INTERSCOPE]
As the decade winds to a close, I nominate Yeah Yeah Yeahs as one of the most important artists of the '00s, if simply for the way they have continually evolved their unique sound. Building from the brilliant garage-punk of 2003's Fever to Tell and the radio-ready rock of 2006's Show Your Bones, YYYs once again chose to re-write the alternative music landscape in 2009 by adding drum machines, a touring keyboardist, and making the best art-dance album in recent memory. Underneath the glitter and glam, though, it's easy to make out Nick Zinner's brilliant snake-like guitar riffs, Brian Chase's rock-steady cadences, and Karen O's trademark sex-kitten growl. It's Blitz! is a carnival of sonic surprises, from synthy New Wave ("Soft Shock") to relentless post-punk ("Dull Life") to the album's centerpieces, the haunting ballads "Skeletons" and "Runaway," both of which come close to reaching the emotional heights of the band's tender '03 masterpiece "Maps."
Video: "Heads Will Roll"
3. The '59 Sound - The Gaslight Anthem [SIDEONEDUMMY]
New Jersey's The Gaslight Anthem sound like the perfect middle-ground between Bad Religion and Bruce Springsteen, but a close look at the lyrics sheet for The '59 Sound reveals a deep understanding of the mythology of pop music, an understanding that brilliantly informs the band's sophomore effort. Brian Fallon's songs are full of scenester kids who light cigarettes on parking meters like Dylan, twist the night away like Sam Cooke, and pray to the ghost of Miles Davis to bless them with his "cool." These lyrical tributes strike just the right chord with Fallon's Elvis-meets-Joey Ramone croon and the band's Americana-punk aesthetic. The '59 Sound is the young person's album of 2009, universally nostalgic with an ironic wink, a perfect soundtrack for those long summer nights of an everlasting youth.
Video: "Old White Lincoln"
4. Troubadour - K'naan [A&M/OCTONE]
K'naan isn't a millionaire, he's not a gangsta, and he openly rejects receiving production from industry staples like Kanye -- yet the 31-year-old Somali-Canadian's second album is far and away the best hip-hop album of the year. K'naan has a quiet, unassuming flow that references hardships 50 Cent can only imagine, like growing up in the midst of the Somali Civil War and living in a land where "pirates terrorize the ocean." What K'naan lacks in verbal dexterity he makes up for with a sleek pop-soul sensibility and a cautiously optimistic social consciousness on tracks like "Take a Minute" and "Wavin' Flag." Troubadour is filled with guest appearances that range from predictable (Damien Marley and Adam Levine) to inspired (Metallica's Kirk Hammett shreds and sings in "If Rap Gets Jealous"), but K'naan's most gifted accomplices are producers Track and Field (Gerald Eaton and Brian West), who give the MC a diverse sonic landscape upon which to play.
Audio: "Take a Minute"
5. Now We Can See - The Thermals [KILL ROCK STARS]
Concept albums about death don't have to be as depressing as Hospice; just ask Portland's Hutch Harris and Kathy Foster, aka The Thermals. In "When I Died," Now We Can See's opening track, an unnamed narrator sings that "the earth was too hot, the air was too thin," and so decides he'll remedy it by crawling into the ocean and turning into a fish. His plans go awry, however, and he... well, he drowns. The remaining 10 songs examine the idiosyncrasies of life from the suddenly-clear perspective of the recently deceased, or, as Harris puts it, "songs from when we were alive." The Thermals touch on mostly intangible themes like fear ("I Let it Go"), desire ("I Called Out Your Name"), and over-consumption ("Liquid In, Liquid Out"); the end result is like the catchiest Zen-Buddhist meditation ever, full of post-punk power chords, singalong choruses, and existential wisdom.
Video: "Now We Can See"
6. Sainthood - Tegan and Sara [SIRE]
The magnificent Quin twins continued their domination of indie-pop, taking on the difficult challenge of following their 2007 masterpiece The Con by embracing the lush electronic production that steeped that album in darkness. The themes of Sainthood appear to be, appropriately, secular devotion and adoration, two things Tegan and Sara have practically written the book on in the last few years, and the overall mood of this album is notably lighter than their last. The girls still wear their hearts on their sleeves; "I sing to find my other," Sara says in the stunning "Don't Rush," which, along with the excellent "Hell" and "The Cure," marks the duo's first foray into co-writing. Sainthood contains hints of the great pop-rock songstresses that have come before them (Saints Cyndi, Madge, and Sinead are all over the place), but with their third straight artistic triumph, Tegan and Sara have successfully carved a permanent spot for themselves in that very canon.
Audio: "The Cure"
7. By the Throat - Eyedea & Abilities [RHYMESAYERS]
The misguided "emo rap" label is a terrifying thing; the tag has been applied both to artists brilliant (Atmosphere, Aesop Rock) and boorish (3OH!3), as well as to E&A. MC Eyedea (Michael Larsen) and DJ Abilities (Gregory Keltgen) hit the ground running with their third LP; a dark half-hour of indie hip-hop manifestos that tackle a wide range of issues, from taking a loved one off life support ("Hay Fever") to gun control ("Time Flies When You Have a Gun"), and sex as a drug ("Burn Fetish"). Eyedea's cracked rapid-fire flow sounds like Atmosphere's Slug after chain-smoking an entire pack of cloves, and Abilities' delayed-climax beats surge with swirling surf-rock guitars, fuzzy distorted bass, and stuttering hi-hats. By the Throat grabs you with its casual punchlines and clever, catchy hooks, but it's the dark social commentary and self-confessional storytelling that will twist its way into the back of your brain and refuse to leave.
Audio: "Burn Fetish"
8. Mama, I'm Swollen - Cursive [SADDLE CREEK]
While many of his Saddle Creek contemporaries have become focused on the alt-country jam-band circuit (Conor Oberst) or have found major-label stardom (Rilo Kiley), Cursive's genius frontman Tim Kasher keeps his feet firmly planted in the Omaha indie scene, and keeps his music teeming with the despair and discontent that defined his extraordinary 2003 breakthrough The Ugly Organ. "I'm at my best when I'm at my worst" Kasher explains over a quiet crescendo of noise-rock in "From the Hips" before blasting a clumsy, full-throated shout. The band still sorely misses cellist Gretta Cohn, whose work on Organ would be a perfect fit for Mama, I'm Swollen's dense minor-key orchestrations, which range from jangly, breakneck rockers like "In the Now" to creepy slow-burners like "We're Going to Hell." Kasher is still the king of lyrical introspection; the album-closer "What Have I Done?" might be his best song ever -- "I spent the best years of my life / waiting on the best years of my life / So what's there to write about? / What have I done?" Here's hoping that for Tim Kasher, that internal artistic struggle never ends.
Audio: "In the Now"
9. Daisy - Brand New [INTERSCOPE/DGC/PROCRASTINATE! MUSIC TRAITORS]
Brand New may be the lone survivor of the 2002-2003 "screamo" boom, as witnessed by the tiresome 2009 releases by their once-contemporaries Thursday and Taking Back Sunday (the subpar Common Existence and the awful New Again, respectively), and they've done it by being unafraid to evolve their sound with each album. What was once bratty pop-punk on 2001's Your Favorite Weapon eventually developed into the challenging, oblique complexity of 2006's The Devil and God Are Raging Inside Me, and now spirals into a fascinating new direction for Daisy. Tortured-genius frontman Jesse Lacey shares songwriting duties with lead guitarist Vin Accadri this time around, leading to even further genre experimentation; the band's sound here ranges from Accardi's straight-up thrash-punk ("Vices") to Lacey's acidic slow-burn balladry ("Bed," "You Stole") to the weirdly brilliant Modest Mouse-on-uppers single "At the Bottom." Daisy's best moments are also its riskiest, though, as in the haunting gospel-hymn sound experimentation of the title track, below.
Audio: "Daisy"
10. The Blueprint 3 - Jay-Z [ROC NATION/ATLANTIC]
Shawn Carter has released a new album every year since 1996, with two notable exceptions; his three-year "retirement" following 2003's The Black Album, and last year, which Hov spent perfecting the third part of his Blueprint trilogy, leaking tantalizing non-album tracks like "Jockin' Jay-Z" along the way. The Blueprint 3 was well worth the wait, boasting the very best beats from hip-hop's very best producers (Timbaland, No I.D., Swizz Beatz), a cavalcade of A-list guest stars (Rihanna, Alicia Keys, Young Jeezy) and the most consistent, focused, and thoughtful flow Jay has spit in a half-decade. Jay-Z is one of the few rappers alive who can successfully stay on subject to develop a concept over the course of an entire song, such as in the playful "Venus vs. Mars" or the uplifting, Alphaville-sampling "Young Forever," and it's that ability that justifies him swiping the title "Best Rapper Alive" back from Lil Wayne. I'd be remiss not to mention Kanye West, the mastermind producer behind the original Blueprint, who co-wrote and produced roughly half the tracks here. The Blueprint 3 is an equal triumph for West, who, despite an uneven couple of years, re-establishes himself as the greatest hip-hop producer of the decade.
Audio: "Young Forever"
The Rest:
11. 21st Century Breakdown - Green Day
12. No Ceilings (Mixtape) - Lil Wayne
13. No One's First, and You're Next (EP) - Modest Mouse
14. Horehound - The Dead Weather
15. It's Not Me, It's You - Lily Allen
16. Say Anything - Say Anything
17. Where the Wild Things Are: Motion Picture Soundtrack - Karen O and The Kids
18. Coaster - NOFX
19. Hombre Lobo: 12 Songs of Desire - Eels
20. Wilco (The Album) - Wilco
21. (tie) Outer South - Conor Oberst and The Mystic Valley Band / Monsters of Folk - Monsters of Folk
22. No Line on the Horizon - U2
23. Songs About Time - The Rentals
24. Them Crooked Vultures - Them Crooked Vultures
25. Sleigh Bells (EP) - Sleigh Bells
The 25 Best Singles
SONG OF THE YEAR
1. "Kids" - MGMT (from the album Oracular Spectacular)
Released as Oracular Spectacular's third single in the final months of 2008, "Kids" actually dates back all the way to 2004, when it first appeared on MGMT's We (Don't) Care EP, but the track didn't reach a high-water mark until cracking the Billboard Modern Rock Top 10, getting a brilliantly disturbing music video (see below), and finally receiving a Grammy nomination for Best Pop Performance by a Duo or Group With Vocals in 2009. One of the reasons for this slow-building success may be that irresistibly-catchy 10-note synth riff, or perhaps the enigmatic lyrics, full of bizarre imagery and sad-but-hopeful longing. "Kids" has it all, the sexy shimmy of New Order, the nostalgic introspection of Arcade Fire, and the oddball sensibilities of The Flaming Lips. It's two weird little boys, throwing the '80s dance party at the end of the world; you're invited, but please, control yourself. Take only what you need from it.
Video: "Kids"
2. "Great Expectations" - The Gaslight Anthem (from the album The '59 Sound)
As previously mentioned, The Gaslight Anthem takes musical and lyrical cues from a wide range of sources; in this, the third single from The '59 Sound, they borrow equally from Bob Seger's "Night Moves" and Charles Dickens' classic novel evoked in the title. The sound, though, is straight-up Alkaline Trio with a dash of The Boss. "Great Expectations" achieves a rare feat: it's a legitimately emotional punk-rock song that avoids resorting to the tired traps of "emo."
Video: "Great Expectations"
3. (tie) "Brooklyn Go Hard" / "D.O.A. (Death of Auto-Tune)" / "Run This Town" / Empire State of Mind" - Jay-Z featuring Santigold, Rihanna, Kanye West, & Alicia Keys (from the albums Notorious: Music Inspired by the Motion Picture and The Blueprint 3)
No one in 2009 had a better Top-40 track record than Jay-Z, starting way back in late-'08 with the Santigold-sampling "Brooklyn," and continuing with three extraordinary hits from his smash Blueprint 3. At age 39, Hov is teaching a hip-hop master class on how to age gracefully, whether by denouncing industry gimmicks, honing his expert braggadocio, or reciting a love letter to his dear NYC. Rihanna and Alicia Keys bring the killer hooks, No I.D. and Al Shux supply the massive beats, and Kanye steals the spotlight in "Run This Town," providing the best production of the year, as well as one of the most striking guest-verses in recent memory. "D.O.A." and "Run This Town" sound so fresh that Lil Wayne hijacked the beats for his fantastic No Ceilings mixtape, proving once and for all that the rap game belongs to Jay-Z, everyone else just plays in it.
Video: "Run This Town"
4. "Uprising" - Muse (from the album The Resistance)
Muse finally found a way to truly distinguish their sound from Bends-era Radiohead, by incorporating Brian May guitar flourishes, a massive Garry Glitter drum cadence, and just the right amount of David Bowie to make their revolution sound sexy, dangerous, and essential. The lyrics are cleverly vague, utilizing a generic "us vs. them" theme that makes "Uprising" the perfect soundtrack for whichever raging against whatever machine you preferred in 2009.
Video: "Uprising"
5. "Paparazzi" - Lady Gaga (from the album The Fame)
I'll admit that it took me the better part of 2009 to really "get" Lady Gaga, and this, the darkly subversive fifth (!) single from The Fame, was the track that did it. "Paparazzi" is the best song written about celebrity since Eminem's "Stan," and its chilling effect is only enhanced by the fantastic Jonas Akerlund-directed video (below), as well as Gaga's brilliant, blood-drenched performance at the MTV Video Music Awards. Beneath the club-ready beats and the catchy pop hook, there's an air of genuine self-reflective tragedy; witness the subtle effect of Gaga's stuttered "papa-paparazzi" in the chorus, slyly linking Freudian psychology with gossip-mag culture. The overall effect confirms Lady Gaga as the smartest, most daring pop star of her generation.
Video: "Paparazzi"
6. "All for the Best" - Thom Yorke (from the album Ciao My Morning Star: The Songs of Mark Mulcahy)
No "best-of" list is complete without a little Radiohead, and in 2009, a little Radiohead was all we got, as the band experimented with its new-found freedom from major-label distribution methods. Instead of a new album, Thom Yorke & Co. released a slew of online and compilation singles, ranging from Radiohead's gorgeous ballad "Harry Patch (In Memory Of)" to Yorke's head-scratching New Moon contribution "Hearing Damage." The best of the bunch is Yorke's moving Miracle Legion cover, released on the Mark Mulcahy tribute/benefit comp Ciao My Morning Star. Originally, the song was a great pop-rock jam, but Yorke takes it to dizzying new heights, juxtaposing heart-monitor drum programming with sharp live rim-shots, and ambient synth waves with clanging distorted guitar, creating one of the most interesting rhythmic and sonic experiments of the year.
Video: "All for the Best"
7. "Stillness is the Move" - Dirty Projectors (from the album Bitte Orca)
To the song's credit, the first time I heard "Stillness is the Move," I thought it was a brilliant sequel to Rihanna's "Umbrella," with its ginormous, skittering drum loop, shimmering Eastern guitar line, and gorgeously lilting female vocals. Turns out it's just Brooklyn-based experimental-rock group Dirty Projectors, refusing to be subjected to the boundaries of genre by crafting 2009's best love song and best R&B jam. It may take a few listens to fully comprehend the greatness of "Stillness," but once you're hooked, you'll wonder why this wasn't the commitment-jam of the year.
Video: "Stillness is the Move"
8. "Oh My God" - Ida Maria (from the album Fortress 'Round My Heart)
Ida Maria "suffers" from synesthesia, the neurological disorder that causes her to see colors when she hears music. Luckily for us, she utilizes her gift to write killer pop-punk tunes like this one, as well as her second single, "I Like You So Much Better When You're Naked." Maria's smokey, husky voice goes from kitten-purr to tiger-yowl in mere seconds, chanting the line "Find a cure for my life" until it becomes a mantra for her unique brand of feminist rock, equal parts Lily Allen and Joan Jett.
Video: "Oh My God"
9. "Bruises" - Chairlift (from the album Does You Inspire You)
Chairlift is the latest in the ongoing line of graduates from the iPod-commercial school of hitmaking, like Apple's "discoveries" The Fratellis, Feist, CSS, and The Ting Tings before them. "Bruises" is the sound of an indie band with huge pop aspirations; all it takes is a breezy, simple bassline, ethereal '80s synths, and lyrics about headstands, hot summer afternoons, and frozen strawberries.
Video: "Bruises"
10. "New Fang" - Them Crooked Vultures (from the album Them Crooked Vultures)
Them Crooked Vultures literally embodies three generations of hard-rock royalty; Josh Homme (Queens of the Stone Age), Dave Grohl (Nirvana, Foo Fighters), and John Paul Jones (Led Zeppelin) get together and bang out a killer blues-rock riff that sounds as fresh and innovative as it does classic. Despite the supergroup's lengthy resumes, it's clear from the onset that "New Fang" is almost too easy for them, the sound of three great musicians at the top of their game just having fun in the studio. Nevertheless, nothing released in 2009 rocks harder and with more hard-earned swagger.
Audio: "New Fang"
The Rest:
11. "(If You're Wondering If I Want You To) I Want You To" - Weezer (from Raditude)
12. "Heads Will Roll" - Yeah Yeah Yeahs (from It's Blitz!)
13. "Two" - The Antlers (from Hospice)
14. (tie) "Satellite Skin" / "King Rat" - Modest Mouse (from No One's First, and You're Next)
15. "Hell" - Tegan and Sara (from Sainthood)
16. "Love Story" - Taylor Swift (from Fearless)
17. "Nikorette" - Conor Oberst and The Mystic Valley Band (from Outer South)
18. "Make Her Say" - Kid Cudi featuring Kanye West & Common (from Man on the Moon: The End of Day)
19. "All is Love" - Karen O and The Kids (from Where the Wild Things Are: Motion Picture Soundtrack)
20. "3" - Britney Spears (from The Singles Collection)
21. "I'm on a Boat" - The Lonely Island featuring T-Pain (from Incredibad)
22. "The Warning" - Eminem (non-album track; intentionally leaked online)
23. "Crying Lightning" - Arctic Monkeys (from Humbug)
24. "Fly Farm Blues" - Jack White (single only; from the film It Might Get Loud)
25. "Fireflies" - Owl City (from Ocean Eyes)
Other Notables:
Artist of the Year:
Karen O (for her work on It's Blitz! and Where the Wild Things Are, as well as guest work on The Flaming Lips' Embryonic and N.A.S.A.'s The Spirit of Apollo)
Best Reissue:
The Beatles Stereo Box Set / The Beatles in Mono - The Beatles
Best Live Album: (tie)
Not Alone: Rivers Cuomo and Friends Live at Fingerprints - Rivers Cuomo
Glitter and Doom: Live - Tom Waits
Best Original Soundtrack:
Where the Wild Things Are: Motion Picture Soundtrack - Karen O and The Kids
Best Compilation:
500 Days of Summer: Music from the Motion Picture - Various Artists
Best EP:
No One's First, and You're Next - Modest Mouse
Best Mixtape:
No Ceilings - Lil Wayne
Best Local Album: (tie)
Headphone Music for Nowhere People - Cultured Animal
Snake Oil Salesman - The-Front
Best Kids Album:
Here Comes Science - They Might Be Giants
Best Cover Song: (tie)
"All for the Best" - Thom Yorke (originally performed by Miracle Legion)
"Here Comes Your Man" - Meaghan Smith (originally performed by Pixies)
"Authority Song" - Reel Big Fish (originally performed by John Cougar Mellencamp)
Best Sample: (tie)
"So Human" - Lady Sovereign (samples "Close to Me" by The Cure)
"Make Her Say" - Kid Cudi (samples an acoustic version of "Poker Face" by Lady Gaga)
Best Music Video:
"Paparazzi" (Long Version) - Lady Gaga
Best Live Act:
The Hold Steady
Best Guitar Riff:
"Crying Lightning" - Arctic Monkeys
Best Beat:
"Run This Town" - Jay-Z (Produced by Kanye West)
Best Lyric:
"Bear (or, Children Become Their Parents Become Their Children)" - The Antlers
("There's a bear inside your stomach / a cub's been kicking you for weeks / and if this isn't all a dream / well then, we'll cut him from beneath / Well, we're not scared of making caves / or finding food for him to eat / We're terrified of one another / and terrified of what that means / But we'll make only quick decisions / and you'll just keep me in the waiting room / and all the while, I'll know we're fucked / and not getting un-fucked soon / When we get home, we're bigger strangers / than we've ever been before / You sit in front of snowy television / suitcase on the floor / "We're too old." / "We're not old at all." / "Just too old." / "We're not old at all.")
Best Rhyme:
"On to the Next One" - Jay-Z
(Used to rock a throwback / ballin' on the corner / Now I rock a tailored suit / looking like a owner / No I'm not a Jonas / Brother, I’m a grown-up / No I’m not a virgin / I use my cojones.")
1. Chris Brown
Admittedly, I didn't listen to one thing Chris Brown released in 2009, and if you did, then you might be part of the problem. Bad enough that the teen-beat poster boy became the year's worst role model by assaulting ex-girlfriend Rihanna, but then he proved himself not only an asshole, but an idiot as well, responding to Oprah Winfrey's criticism by calling it a "slap in the face." Nice choice of words, douchebag. I'm not big on judging musical artists by their offstage behavior; I don't care what kind of jerk you think Kanye is, his artistry proves his worth and justifies his oversized ego. Chris Brown, on the other hand, will be remembered in history merely as a bad Michael Jackson impersonator who turned into a second-rate Ike Turner. He's not even worth an illegal download.
2. "My Wena" - Bowling for Soup
You might have seen the music video for this song, posted on Facebook by that annoying guy from high school who still lives with his mom and works at the local Kum-N-Go. It features the culturally irrelevant pop-punk band running around with a human-sized penis. Even discounting bad taste, there's no way anyone with a brain has been able to make it through more than a minute of this song. It's time to un-friend that guy.
3. Johnny Cash Remixed - Johnny Cash and Various Artists
I love Johnny Cash, and I like Snoop Dogg, but halfway through the god-awful "Walk the Line (ODT Muzic Remix)," my ears started bleeding. Between Everlast's ridiculous "Folsom Prison Blues" cover and this disastrous DJ project, it's pretty clear that hip-hop needs to leave Cash's legacy alone. The Man in Black has been deceased for almost seven years now. It's time to let him rest in peace.
4. "Prom Queen" / "On Fire" - Lil Wayne
Extraordinarily gifted people sometimes tend to believe that they will be good at anything; Michael Jordan wanted to play baseball, and Shaq still thinks he can rap. Lil Wayne is the greatest rapper of his generation, so he obviously thinks it qualifies him to record a rock album with a third-rate nu-metal band. These horrendous singles from his oft-delayed Rebirth prove that Weezy should stick to hip-hop; let's just hope he forgets this abortion of an album and finds time to wrap up Tha Carter IV before his prison sentence begins in February.
5. "Kings and Queens" - 30 Seconds to Mars
Hey, Jared Leto -- I'm not sure what your rabid cult of fans hears when they listen to "Kings and Queens," but you're not Bono; you were much better at ripping off AFI than you are U2. Or, even better yet, how about this... go back to acting.
6. Crash Love - AFI
It's official: AFI circa 2009 are so culturally irrelevant that they resemble cheap imitation of 30 Seconds to Mars circa 2006, who were ripping off My Chemical Romance circa 2004, who were, in turn, trying to be AFI circa 2003. Leave it to Davey Havok to destroy what remains of the Hot Topic/black eyeliner scene that he helped create.
7. Relapse - Eminem
Suffering and recovering from addiction can be a harrowing experience, but in Eminem's case, it's nearly as painful for his fans. Em repeats essentially the same story over and over again on almost every one of these 20 tracks -- he takes too much, passes out, and has serial-killer fantasies -- but almost never lets the listener in much further, as he might have a decade ago. This, combined with the ridiculously over-the-top nonsensical accent that he's adopted since 2004's Encore, makes for the worst album ever from the man formerly known as The Best Rapper Alive.
8. "Desolation Row" - My Chemical Romance
I generally love a good Dylan cover, especially when it brings to light intricate melodies that Bob's creaky voice can't quite wrap itself around. This version, though, takes Dylan's epic masterpiece eleven-minute Highway 61 Revisited closer and tries to condense it to three minutes of dull cock-rock for the Watchmen closing credits. It feels like trying to write a term paper about Paradise Lost by reading the Wikipedia page; you get the idea, but you ain't gonna get an 'A.'
9. Light - Matisyahu
The Hasidic-reggae schtick was really cool for about a year, producing the killer singles "King Without a Crown" and "Jerusalem (Out of Darkness Comes Light)," but on his third album, even Matisyahu sounds bored of himself.
10. New Again - Taking Back Sunday / Alter the Ending - Dashboard Confessional
2009 may be the year that emo finally gave up the ghost, and these two forgettable albums by former innovators of the genre serve as its generic, over-commercialized death-rattle.
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